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智 慧 與 慈 悲

智 慧 與 慈 悲

宗薩蔣揚欽哲仁波切 開示

劉婉俐 譯

金剛乘中,上師的觀念是非常特別的。我們有許多人都是尊貴的頂果欽哲仁波切的弟子,今天(199712月)是仁波切轉世的坐床大典。而所有的欽哲轉世都被認為是無垢友(Vimalamitra,毗瑪拉密札)與赤松德真王的轉世。

偉大的蔣揚欽哲旺波是藏傳佛教共與不共傳承最重要的導師之一,不是因為他的法座殊勝、位階甚高,而是因為他證悟上的成就。他與蔣貢康楚(Jamgon Kongtrul)、秋究林巴(Chogyur Lingpa)及蔣揚羅迭旺波(Jamyang Loter Wangpo),一起推展了利美運動(不分派運動)。他不只是位學者和聖人,也被認為是五位掘藏法王(five king tertons)之一。他有五位化身──身、語、意、功德、事業。意的化身即是尊貴的頂果欽哲仁波切,他和偉大的蔣揚欽哲旺波具有相同的特質。

「欽哲」(Khyentse)一語的大意是智慧與慈悲。見過前一世尊貴的頂果欽哲仁波切的人,我相信你們一定還記得他是智慧與慈悲的化身,也是兩者的展現。對我們這些無明的眾生來說,即使我們能夠在智識上明白智慧與慈悲,要實際見到智慧與慈悲的例子卻非常困難。這是極為珍貴的,但我們許多人卻有這個機會,因為我們過去世的善業,而見到前一世的仁波切,現在又有這麼好的機會見到他的轉世。雖然我(宗薩蔣揚欽哲仁波切)是被珠古貝瑪旺嘉(Tulku Pema Wangyal)拖來(開示),但我想我還是覺得自己是一個非常幸運的人,能有這個機會藉著宣說幾句法語而累積福德。

因此我決定說一說和「欽」「哲」二字有關的幾句話,因為我們都認識一些欽哲的轉世,同時也多少知道所謂智慧與慈悲的概念。現在,像我前面所說的,「欽」一字代表智慧或了解。這裡我們所說的並不是一般的智慧或一般的理解,這裡所說的智慧,是指了知所有現象之究竟真理的心。有一些例子可以說明智慧為何必要,當我們不知道一些事情時,通常就會產生問題;當我們不全然了解時,就會瞎疑猜。我們有許多誤解或不了解的事實,之所以會有這樣的無明,是因為累世的習性。

雖然有些人可能對智慧有一點智識上的理解,但要有智慧卻是非常困難的,因為在佛法裡當我們談到智慧時,我們所談的是把我們從這些妄想中解脫出來的智慧。許多時候,我們所認為的智慧,事實上並不是真正的智慧。在大乘中,智慧指的是了知無我的心或了知自我本空的心。即使研讀起來容易,要實證卻非常困難,這是因為累世對自我的執著使然。

在佛法中,我們談到輪迴與涅槃,輪迴是有這些妄想的地方。當我們談到無明或妄想、譬如執著自我時,並不是說我們確實有一個染污存在,因此我們必須要清除掉它。事實上,所有的這些妄想、這些無明,實際上並不存在。但是因為我們自己的不安全感,讓我們以為它們是存在的。我們對自我的存在非常執著,常忙於成為這個自我的奴隸。現在,智慧了知這個妄想並不實存的真相,但就像我已經說過很多次一樣,一個人能夠透過研讀與接受開示而大致理解智慧,但要真正證得智慧必須要具有許多福德。

對虔誠心來說,也是如此。要理解什麼是虔誠很容易,但要有虔誠心,需要具備很大的福德。在你有福德之前,是不可能有虔誠心的。我想不只是精神性的、像智慧、慈悲、虔敬這樣的開悟特質,即使是我們日常生活中的快樂,也需要有許多的福德才行。

舉個例子來說……,這麼說好像有點野。舉例來說,假如有某個人像我的翻譯,對這位尼師(這位)說:「你好美喔!」。假如她具有即便是稍縱即逝的快樂福德,那麼這恭維必定會帶給她很大的快樂。假如她沒有足夠的福德,同樣一句翻譯所說的話,可能會造成許多問題。打個比方,這句話會讓她有所期待,雖然它可能只是翻譯出於禮貌而說;但因為沒有足夠的福德來適當地詮解這句話,她可能會有所期待而跟著他到處去!這時候,如果他是那種有耐性或有技巧的人,這還好,不過我並不認為他可以每天對她說你很漂亮。所以福德,藏文稱為「索南」(Sonam),是真的能對每件事產生重大影響的最重要特質之一。我相信你一定在人生裡經歷過某些事,有時候令你不開心的事,卻讓你高興不已,這極大部分是因為福德的緣故。

現在你可能會想著:「那要怎樣,才有福德?」很奇怪,即使想要有福德也必須得有福德才行,福德是福德的因,這是佛法修行中困難的部份,就某方面來說,完整的智慧觀念(idea)是超乎各種概念(concepts)之上、超乎所有習性的攀緣之上的。為了要得到這種智慧,所以我們談福德,而福德與我們的情緒息息相關。空性亦然。這是我們必須了悟。為了要證悟空性,一個人必須要有福德,就像是對他們的上師讚頌或獻供(一如外面的人們正在做的),或是像你們之中的某些人耐心地聽我說而又不被(外面的)鼓聲所干擾一樣。一個人也能以這種方式來累積福德。

兩種積聚福德的殊勝方法:對眾生的悲心以及對佛、法、僧與上師的虔誠心。事實上,這兩者可以縮簡為一,即慈悲心,因為當我們談到大乘時,談的就是慈悲心。

這種悲心在金剛乘裡,大多被詮釋為虔誠心(devotion)。這也是「欽哲」之名的第二個面向,藏文裡的tsewa、即是悲心(compassion)。悲心不只是同情心,事實上,它是了知平等的心,了知我與他人之間的平等、好與壞之間的平等、一切二元對立現象的平等;這就是悲心。但對我們大多數的人來說,悲心是很難生起的。有太多阻礙悲心、與悲心作對的強而有力東西,如自私、對自我的執著等,以及許多自我攀緣的有利環境。

我無法討論你們的狀況,但如果就我自身的經驗來說,哪怕只有幾秒鐘的時間,我都很難擁有真正的悲心。當我讀到菩薩戒、祈請文、祈願文時,即使我了解其意義,但這一切的背後仍然是自私之心。在大乘經典裡,有許多不同的菩提心,最殊勝的菩提心,是一種牧羊人式的菩提心,這種人希望為了眾生而成佛、希望在所有的眾生都成佛之後他才成佛,這種菩提心是非常難以理解的。

我不知道你們是否有這樣(的菩提心),我可沒有。我不在乎別人,但最起碼我覺得自己很棒,好歹我想要成佛;因為很多人並不想成佛,至少我是想成佛的。雖然,我只是為了自己而成佛!對你們來說想必也是如此。當我們向佛、法、僧三寶獻供時,雖然嘴裡說的是為了一切眾生的緣故,但心裡想的,卻總是為了自己的好處。所以對我來說對眾生的悲心是很困難的,在金剛乘裡虔誠心被解釋為較高層次的悲心,我想這是為什麼我喜歡金剛乘的原因之一吧!

至少對一個初學者,對一個充滿染污的眾生來說,開始修習虔誠心時,可以從某個人、譬如你的上師開始著手,讚賞某個人比承擔每個人的責任要來得容易多了,而且我想我被吉美林巴之類的人洗腦得很愉快。吉美林巴曾說過,年復一年地誦咒、修習儀軌、做法會是很好的,但沒有一件事能和一分鐘的禪定相比,因為禪定更能洞澈我們的心靈。然後他又說,年復一年的禪定,是無法和片刻地憶念上師相提並論的。這是為何我覺得虔誠心的修行,非常重要且無所不含的原因所在。

但我也明白,許多人很難擁有虔誠心。對那些見過偉大的上師,如至尊頂果欽哲仁波切的人來說(像我自己就非常幸運地,能親見),我想我們會比較少有不恭敬的看法;但對那些必須跟我這般人相處的人來說,我完全能理解為何虔誠心會是這般地困難!因為在今日你們甚至對上師都沒有太多的信心。

其次,我還要談一些我自己的經驗,我知道你們之中有許多人是老修行,一定重覆地聽說過這些事情了。我想說的是,要全然地信任上師是相當困難的。舉例來說,最近當我在修上師相應法時,我完全照著法本觀修,觀想上師在你的面前和其他的一切,到了祈求加持的部份,祈請殊勝或不共的加持,我們也可以祈請一般的加持……,當然,殊勝的加持祈請,是為了成佛、智慧的增長、去除無明等等,這是修持上師相應的究竟目的。然後,為了助益人類,我們也可以祈求加持,好讓我們可以長壽、不生病和種種世俗性的加持。

我注意到我對勝義性加持的尋求,遠遠地少於對世俗性加持的追求。我並沒有如祈求長壽、計畫的成功等等那般真誠地祈求除掉自我。於是我明白了──我依然執著於這世間的生活。事實上,我把上師當成了神祇,請他賜予特定的報酬。當我一明白這並不是很好的想法時,我就覺得能體察到這種過失,也是上師的加持。有時候,當我設法了解我的過失時,馬上又不知打哪兒冒出傲慢和不知不覺混進來的自我,想著:「喔,我設法要了解我的過失,很好。」情況總是這樣。然後我又開始自責起來,對自己說道:「不行,我不能有這樣的自我。」

然後有一天……,你們知道的,我對寫劇本、拍電影這些事情都很感興趣,於是有一天,我發現自己對上師這般祈請:「請加持我,讓我順利寫完劇本,使我的拍片計畫成功。」馬上我又想到:「不行,至尊頂果欽哲仁波切根本不知道怎麼拍電影,我怎麼可以這樣要求他呢?」那時我正在讀蔣揚欽哲旺波和欽哲秋吉羅卓的傳記,在他們的傳記中,屢屢提到他們對上師所持的虔誠心是如何地深厚,以及他們如何向上師祈求,賜予證悟成佛、饒益眾生等一切成佛特質的加持。我覺得很是慚愧,因為我所祈求的,是如此世俗的東西。但是因為我讀了夠多的佛教書籍,可以讓我這麼地想……;因為我的心、我的自我、我的自私是這麼地聰明,所以能巧妙地找到了很好的藉口;於是我會想祈求加持我,讓我寫好劇本,是為了利益眾生的緣故!

然而我又告訴自己:「不行,我利用各種大乘的藉口,只不過是助長了我的自我和自私而已,是不對的。」再回到我向上師祈請賜給我拍電影的加持……之後我想到:「不對,不對,他不知道如何寫劇本,他不知道如何掌鏡頭,這類的事情他都不清楚。」接著我就明白了:「看吧,這表示我對他沒有信心,他是佛,他應該知道一切的事情,我把他看成了是個不知道像掌鏡之類簡單、世俗事物的凡夫,而那些事務只要花上兩天或頂多一個禮拜就能學會了。」從這裡看出我對他的沒有信心,這也表示我還需要培養我的虔誠心,培養我的信心。

之後,我試著花更多的時間在祈請和祈願上,這樣上師就會加持我,我的智慧就會增長、我一切成佛的特質就會展開。於是我的信心增多了一點,所以這些日子以來,我對祈求任何的加持,如把劇本寫好之類的,就不會覺得不好意思,我想這樣是可以的。我想告訴各位的是,我們有著無法專一的毛病;以上師來說他是一位老師,但如果想要長壽,而碰巧又知道有長壽佛,你會另外向長壽佛祈求加持。若是想要增長智慧,又會向文殊菩薩祈求加持,如此這般。這也說明了,我們對上師乃是一切皈依對象的總集缺乏了解;也表示了我們的心仍然充滿了二元對立。只要我們仍有這些弱點,我們就無法有勇氣去獲得智慧。

我們稱擁有菩提心的人為菩薩,而菩薩的稱號,也代表著他是一個有勇氣的人,不單是具有幫助眾生的勇氣,同時有勇氣去面對現實,去面對這個充滿了無明、迷惑的人生。因此為了獲得「欽」(khyen)或智慧,一個人必須要有悲心。沒有悲心,是不可能有智慧的。我個人覺得獲得「欽哲」(khyentse)或是悲智這兩種證悟最快的方法,就是虔誠心,也就是悲心的精髓所在。為此,虔誠心有許多的層次,我們可以從主要是發自情感,例如讚嘆、發願等最簡單的虔誠心開始。最後,當虔誠心增長時,這虔誠心就會轉成智慧,到時候,我們就不會有老是需要倚賴某個人的恐懼了。倚賴某個人,是件非常奇怪的事;有時候我們的心想要倚靠某個人,但別的時候,這個想要倚靠個人的想法,可能會是個很大的麻煩。我想大概就是這些了!

 

敬錄自 悉達多本願佛學會 柔和聲

http://www.siddharthasintent.org/chinese/


覺空文殊童子之加持   密意界中獲證八辯才   教證法藏海洋尊勝主   至誠祈禱米滂南嘉尊
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Khyentse -

Wisdom and Compassion

After the enthronement of the yangsi of His Holiness Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche in Nepal in December 1997, Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche gave a talk on the meaning of the word "Khyentse".

In Vajrayana the idea of the guru is very special. And many of us are disciples of His Holiness Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche and this is the enthronement ceremony of the incarnation of His Holiness. Just briefly, all the Khyentse reincarnations are considered as the incarnations of Vimalamitra and King Trisong Detsen.

The great Jamyang Khyentse Wangpo was one of the most important illuminators in Buddhism in general and especially Vajrayana Buddhism in Tibet, not because he had a big seat or a high rank but because of his spiritual achievement. Together with Jamgon Kongtrul, Chogyur Lingpa and Jamyang Loter Wangpo, he actually started this Rime movement. Not only was he a scholar and a saint, but he was also considered as one of the five king tertons. He had five emanations - body, speech, mind, quality and activity. And the emanation of the mind was His Holiness Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche who also had similar qualities to the great Jamyang Khyentse Wangpo.

The word "Khyentse" loosely means wisdom and compassion. And for those who have seen His Holiness Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche, the previous incarnation, I’m sure you remember he is the embodiment of wisdom and compassion and he represents that. It is very difficult for us ignorant beings, even though we can maybe understand wisdom and compassion intellectually, to actually see the example of wisdom and compassion. It’s very rare. But many of us had the opportunity, because of our past karmic deeds, to see the past incarnation and now we have this great opportunity to see his incarnation. And although I’ve been dragged into this [talk] by Tulku Pema Wangyal, I guess I should consider myself as someone who’s very fortunate to have this chance to accumulate merit by saying a few Dharma words.

So I decided that I would say a few words on the words "khyen" and "tse" because we all know that there are  Khyentse beings and we also somehow know that there are concepts called wisdom and compassion. Now, as I said, the word "khyen" refers to wisdom or understanding. Here we are not talking about an ordinary kind of wisdom or an ordinary kind of understanding. Wisdom here is the mind that knows the ultimate truth of all phenomena. To give you some examples of why wisdom is necessary, generally our problems come when we don’t know something. Our petty misunderstandings come when we don’t have complete understanding. We have lots of misunderstanding or not understanding reality. We have that kind of ignorance because of the habits of our past lives.

Although some people may have a little intellectual understanding of wisdom, it is very difficult to have wisdom because in Buddhism when we talk about wisdom, we are talking about the wisdom to free ourselves from all these delusions. And many times the things that we think are wisdom, are in fact not really wisdom. In Mahayana, wisdom is the mind that understands selflessness or the mind that understands the emptiness aspect of the self. But even though it’s easy to study that, it’s very difficult to experience it. This is because of many lifetimes of attachment to the self.

In Buddhism we talk about samsara and nirvana. Samsara is where there’s all this delusion. When we talk about ignorance or delusion such as clinging to the self, we’re not talking about a defilement that actually does exist truly within us and that we then later have to purify. In fact, all these delusions, all this ignorance, in reality they don’t exist. But because of our own insecurity we think that they exist. We are very attached to this existence of the self and we’re constantly busy as the slave of this self. Now wisdom is that which understands the non-existent aspect of such a delusion. But as I’ve said many times, one can roughly understand wisdom through study and receiving teachings, but in order to actually understand wisdom one has to have lots of merit.

It’s the same for devotion. It’s kind of easy to understand what devotion is, but to have devotion one needs lots of merit. Until you have merit, a person does not have devotion. I think not only the spiritual, enlightened qualities such as wisdom, devotion and compassion, but even the mere happiness that we have in our day-to-day life depends so much on merit.

For instance... I’m going to become a little wild now. For instance, if someone like my interpreter [here] says to this nun [here], "How beautiful you are", it depends so much on how much this nun has merit or not. If she has the merit to have even a short time of happiness, such praise will definitely give her lots of happiness. If she doesn’t have enough merit, the same remark that the interpreter makes can cause lots of problems. For instance, it can raise her expectations [yet] maybe the interpreter said it just out of politeness. But because there’s not enough merit to interpret this remark properly, she may have raised her expectations and she might follow him wherever he goes! And then if he is a kind of patient or skilful person, it might work. But I don’t think he could tell her she’s beautiful every day. So merit, sonam in Tibetan, is one of the most important qualities that really has a lot of influence on everything. I’m sure you must have experienced in your life a certain thing that sometimes makes you unhappy can make you very happy and this is very much because of merit.

You may be wondering now, "How can one have merit?" Strangely, even to have merit you have to have merit. Merit is the cause of merit. This is the difficult part in Buddhist practice. In one aspect there is the complete idea of wisdom which is beyond all sorts of concepts, beyond all sorts of habitual hang-ups. But in order to get this wisdom we talk about merit which comes very much together with our emotions. It’s the same for emptiness. This is what we have to realise. But in order to realise emptiness one has to have merit, such as singing well or making offerings to their guru [which the people outside are doing right now] and such as some of you being patient and trying to listen to what I’m trying to say and at the same time not getting disturbed by all those drums [outside]. One can accumulate merit this way also.

There are two great methods for accumulating merit. Compassion for sentient beings and devotion to the Buddha, Dharma, Sangha and the guru. In fact, we can abbreviate these into just one compassion because, when we talk about Mahayana, we talk about compassion.

And the same compassion is almost interpreted as devotion in Vajrayana. So this is the second aspect of the name Khyentse, tsewa or compassion. Compassion is not only sympathy. In fact, it is the mind that understands equality, equality between oneself and others, equality between bad and good, equality within all dualistic phenomena. That is compassion. But for many of us compassion is very difficult to arouse. There are so many obstacles to compassion and the opposite of compassion, which is selfishness, attachment to the self, is very strong. And there are lots of favourable circumstances for that clinging to the self.

I can’t talk about you, but if I talk of my own experience, I find it very difficult to have genuine compassion even for a few seconds. Even if I’m reading the bodhicitta vows and prayers and supplications or whatever and even though I understand the meaning, always behind all that there’s selfishness. You know, in the Mahayana sutras there are many different kinds of bodhicitta. But the most supreme kind of bodhicitta is the shepherd-like bodhicitta, someone who wishes enlightenment for all sentient beings, someone who wants enlightenment only after all sentient beings are enlightened. That kind of bodhicitta mind is very difficult to realise.

I don’t know whether you have this or not. But I have this a lot. I don’t care about other people. And I consider myself quite good at least, even just wanting to get enlightenment. Many people don’t even want to get enlightenment. But at least I’d like to get enlightenment. Just for myself, though! It must be happening to you. When we make offerings to the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha, even though we say this is for the sake of all sentient beings, our mind is always aiming for a result just for oneself. So compassion for sentient beings is quite difficult for me. So I guess this is one of the reasons why I also like Vajrayana where devotion is taught as a sort of higher interpretation of compassion.

At least as a beginner, as a very deluded being, when you begin the practice of devotion, you can start with one person like your own guru. It’s much easier to admire someone than to take the responsibility for everyone. And I guess I must be also pleasantly brainwashed by people like Jigme Lingpa. Jigme Lingpa said that years and years of chanting mantras and reading sadhanas and doing pujas is very good, but it’s nothing compared to a minute of meditation because meditation penetrates our mind probably more. Then he said that years and years of meditation is nothing compared to an instant of remembrance of the guru. And this is why I think that the practice of devotion is very strong and all-pervasive.

But I understand that many people have difficulty with devotion. For those who have seen great masters like His Holiness Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche (like myself I’m very fortunate to have met him), I guess we have less of a problem having this sacred outlook. But for those who have to end up with people like myself, I understand completely why devotion is so difficult! Because firstly you don’t even have much trust in the guru anyway these days.

Again, I’m going to tell you about some of my own experiences, but I know many of you are old dharma students so you have heard these things again and again. I was saying that complete trust in the guru is quite difficult. For instance, recently when I was doing guru yoga practice, I practised it all according to the text, visualising the guru in front of you and all of that, and at the stage where you ask for blessings, both supreme or uncommon blessings and we can also ask for common blessings...

Of course, as supreme blessings we ask for enlightenment, the growth of wisdom, dispelling ignorance and all that. This is, of course, the ultimate aim of guru yoga. And then, in order to benefit people, we can also ask for blessings so that one can have longevity, no sickness and all sorts of worldly blessings.

I noticed that my seeking for beyond-worldly blessings was much, much less than for worldly blessings. I wasn’t really asking to get rid of my ego as much as I was asking for longevity, success for my projects and so on. Then I realised this - that I was actually still attached to worldly life. In fact, I was using the guru as something like a god to ask him for certain rewards. Then as soon as I realised that this was not a great thought that I had, I then thought that the realisation of that fault was also the blessing of the guru. At times, when I manage to realise my faults, then out of nowhere this pride and ego creep in, thinking, "Oh, I managed to realise my fault, That’s good!" So it goes on like this. Then again I scold myself like this, saying, "No, I shouldn’t have this kind of ego."

And then one day... You see, I’m interested in writing scripts and making movies and all that. And one day I found myself praying to the guru, "Please bless me so that I will write my script properly, so that my film project will be successful. Then immediately I thought, "No, His Holiness Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche doesn’t even know how to make a movie. How can I ask him that?" At that time I was reading both Jamyang Khyentse Wangpo’s and Khyentse Chokyi Lodro’s biographies. And in them they mention so much about how much devotion they have to their masters and what they seek from their guru as a blessing - enlightenment, benefit for sentient beings, all sorts of enlightened qualities. I felt very embarrassed that I was asking for such mundane things. But then because I have read enough Buddhist books I can bring all this... My mind, my ego, my selfishness is so clever that it skilfully brings good excuses. Then I thought I could ask for blessing to write a good script for the sake of sentient beings!

Again I told myself, "No. Now what I’m doing is actually helping my ego and my selfishness, using all sorts of Mahayana excuses, which is not good." Anyway, going back to when I pray or supplicate to him so that he will give me the blessings for my movies... After that I thought, "No, no, he doesn’t know how to write a script. He doesn’t know how to operate a camera. Stuff like that he doesn’t know." And then later I realised, "See, this shows I have no trust in him. He’s the Buddha. He should know everything. I have considered him as someone who does not know a single, mundane thing such as operating a camera which takes two days or a week at the longest to learn." So that much I have no trust in him. And this shows that I still have to develop my devotion, develop my trust.

After that I tried to make sure that I spent more time praying and supplicating so that he would bless me so that my wisdom would grow and so that all my enlightened qualities would flourish. And I have gained slightly more confidence, so these days I don’t feel embarrassed about asking for blessings for anything, like writing successful scripts. I think it’s okay.

What I’m trying to tell you is this. We have this problem of not concentrating on one point, like the guru is okay as a teacher, but if you want longevity and you happen to know Amitayus, the long-life Buddha, then you ask for blessings separately from the long-life Buddha. Or if you want to increase your wisdom, then you ask for blessings from Manjushri. Things like that. This also tells us that we have this lack of understanding that the guru is the embodiment of all the refuge objects. This shows that we still have lots of dualistic mind. As long as we have this kind of weakness, we will never have this courage to have wisdom.

We call those who have bodhicitta bodhisattvas. And the name bodhisattva has the connotation of someone having courage, not only courage to help certain sentient beings, but in fact courage to face the reality, the courage to face this illusory aspect of our life. So in order to have khyen or wisdom, one should have compassion. And without compassion, one does not have wisdom. And the quickest way to get these two attainments, "Khyentse" or wisdom and compassion, I personally think, is through devotion which is the quintessence of compassion. So in this way devotion has many degrees. We can start simple devotion mainly out of our own emotions such as admiration and inspiration. And finally, when we manage to increase this devotion, the very devotion that we have becomes wisdom. And then we will not have the fear of needing to depend on someone all the time. You know, depending on someone is a very strange thing. Our mind wants to depend on someone at times, but at other times the very idea of depending on someone can be a big hassle. So I think that’s about all!

 

http://www.siddharthasintent.org/gentle/GVMay98.htm


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